Jesus, Jacob, Joshua, Joseph, Jeremiah, Judah, Job, Joel, Jonathan, Josiah, Judas, Jude, Judith, Jonah — even cities like Jericho and Jerusalem. Sure are lots of “J” sounding names and words in the Bible.
It’s kinda interesting, because there actually isn’t a “J” sound in the Hebrew language. More often than not, it defaults to a “Y” sound.
Speaking of “J,” there’s also quite a few Johns in the Bible: John the Baptist, John the Apostle, John Mark, John (father of Peter), and John of Patmos — the latter is credited as the author of the last book of the Bible, the Book of Revelation.
That’s Stephen King’s favorite Bible book (I’d assume). It has all the spooky End Days imagery, like a galloping quartet of horses, Armageddon, and multi-headed beasts.
Ever since the election of 2000, when that stubborn, dangling chad refused to fall their way, the Democratic Party has adopted its own version of Revelation, only theirs was authored by Saint Al Gore.
And his magnus opus was “An Inconvenient Truth,” which was released in 2006. Next year will be its 20th birthday, so ready your (recyclable) barf-bags for a yearlong celebration of such an important, groundbreaking, visionary film.
It’s a torrid tale of environmental destruction — dire prophecies about the oceans boiling, the people starving, and the entire planet frying to a crisp. The End is Nigh!
Alas, Al Gore’s prophecies didn’t prove to be all that prophetic. Here’s what he said about Florida and California:
(I live in Tampa Bay. I promise you, my ocean view isn’t this good.)
His prediction about hurricanes growing stronger, bigger, and more frequent didn’t age well, either. In fact, the number of hurricanes — and their intensity — has decreased.
This is the clip with the cute, adorable polar bear drowning to death because all the ice has melted. (Of course, there are still plenty of polar bears. Every Christmas, they drink Coca-Cola.):
“Within the decade, there will be no more snows of Kilimanjaro”:
Saint Al Gore’s crystal ball must’ve been cloudy that day. (Probably because of Global Warming.) There’s still tons and tons of snow on Kilimanjaro! If you love snow, you can even plan your vacation around it.
Still, the façade of foresight is difficult to shake. Once people associate someone with supernatural powers, it’s tricky to convince ‘em otherwise, even if the “psychic” has been discredited or just looks flat-out absurd, à la guys like Uri Geller or John Edwards.
Now, Saint Al Gore is back with another chilling prophecy. As Politico reported today in its breaking headline, “Al Gore compares Trump administration to Nazi Germany”:
Former Vice President Al Gore on Monday compared President Donald Trump’s administration to Nazi Germany and issued a dire warning about Trump’s use of power in a speech devoted to climate change.
Speaking at an event at the start of San Francisco’s Climate Week, Gore said the Trump administration was “trying to create their own preferred version of reality” to achieve their sweeping objectives similar to Adolf Hitler’s Nazi Party in the 1930s and ‘40s.
(Have you ever noticed that ALL of Saint Gore’s warnings are “dire”? The Tennessee divorcee has never met an apocalypse he hasn’t liked.)
Related: Larry David Attacks Bill Maher for Dining With (Hitler) in Dopiest, Sleaziest NYT Op-Ed in Years
What I like best about Saint Gore is his blatant attempt at a rhetorical head-fake: “Why, I’m certainly NOT saying ABC, not at all — but y’know, when you stop and think about it, [proceeds to exactly say ABC].”
“I understand very well why it is wrong to compare Adolf Hitler’s Third Reich to any other movement,” Gore said to an audience of roughly 150 climate advocates and policymakers gathered at a science museum on San Francisco’s waterfront. “It was uniquely evil, full stop. I get it. But there are important lessons from the history of that emergent evil.”
“It was [Jürgen] Habermas’ mentor, Theodore Adorno, who wrote that the first step in that nation’s descent into hell was, and I quote, ‘the conversion of all questions of truth into questions of power,”’ Gore said. “He described how the Nazis, and I quote again, ‘attacked the very heart of the distinction between true and false.’ End quote. The Trump administration is insisting on trying to create their own preferred version of reality.” [emphasis added]
Own version of reality?! So says the man who predicted all the polar bears would drown, Florida would vanish, Kilimanjaro would bake, the hurricanes would grow, and the Earth would go BOOM like an overcooked burrito in the microwave.
Meanwhile, the American people have moved on. We’ve gone from “An Inconvenient Truth” to Truth Social.
That’s gotta sting.
“We’ve already seen, by the way, how populist authoritarian leaders have used migrants as scapegoats and have fanned the fires of xenophobia to fuel their own rise of power,” [Al Gore] said. “And power-seeking is what this is all about. Our constitution, written by our founders, is intended to protect us against a threat identical to Donald Trump,” he said, to applause. [emphasis added]
So, we’ve also gone from Global Warming causing fires to xenophobia causing fires. That’s an interesting pivot. (Good luck with that.) Maybe Gavin Newsom can use Gore’s logic to deflect blame for the Los Angeles wildfires.
But the bigger problem is Al Gore himself: His pants are on fire. Been that way for 20 years. Liar, liar, pants on fire!
And it has NOTHING to do with xenophobia or Global Warming.
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